This is a list of tips shared during the episodes of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, arranged by subject.
The First Day
- During the first day: just relax, be yourself and don't panic! Try to make new friends and get to know your teachers for the year.
- Plan ahead on classes to get in the same ones as your friends.
- September = Summer, so don't wear winter clothes.
- Some classes get full, so pick a different class you're good at.
- Have a seat by the door to avoid the "door jam".
- Be on your BEST behavior.
- Set goals for yourself during the school year.
- Try to study before class.
- If you're new, don't sweat it, talk to some people.
- Have fun, get to know your teachers better.
- Make sure you have all your school supplies.
- Pick out clothes that show who you are to make a first impression.
- Pay attention to the rules and then when you come home memorize them so you don't have to later on.
- Make sure you always brush your hair and teeth before you go. Also make sure you have all your clothes on.
- Get a haircut 2 weeks before school starts so it can grow in.
- Try to make new friends your age and grade.
- Make a list of H.W and say when its due so you wont forget, and to have a reminder
- Always listen to what the teacher is saying, NOT what the teacher is doing.
- Try to do as much homework as you can in class so that you don't have much to do at home.
- Helping the teacher out doesn't make you a teachers pet. You dont have to be a teachers pet to make a good impression.
- Don't be afraid to raise your hand. It doesn't mean you're dumb when you raise your hand you just get interested.
- Take notes when the teacher is talking.
- Always try to be the best student in your class.
- Never get on their bad side, It won't help.
- Due dates are closer than they appear, be sure to do your projects/homework ON TIME!
- Sit next to new people to make new friends.
- Avoid sitting next to the bullies or the class clown, since they will only distract you.
- Sitting in front helps you learn better so when you take a test you are ready.
- Sit near the door to get to your classes quicker.
- Stay away from really talkative people. You won't EVER be able to concentrate on ANYTHING!
- Sit around nice people just in case it is your seat forever.
- If you sit next to your friends you may be distracted. Friends tend to like to talk to you.
- Sitting in the front doesn't always mean that you will always get called on when the teacher asks a question.
- Stay away from the back rows!
- Get the right equipment.
- Don't give up, keep practicing, if you don't make the team. You can make it next year.
- Remember that practice makes perfect.
- Don't be afraid of trying out new things because you just might like it.
- Be prepared!
- If you don't make it, tryout for something else!
- Check out the girls on the team before trying out
- Sometimes they're way out of your league, but try anyway, it's okay if they say no.
- Get to know them first then, ask them out
- Be yourself and go talk to him/her.
- If your crush doesn't like you remember you could still be friends.
- If you're going to talk to your crush, don't make up lies about yourself.
- Be sure that your crush likes you before you ask them out.
- It's okay for a girl to ask a boy out.
- be nice to them
- Practice what you are going to say to your crush before saying it
- Dress cool and comfortable and it doesn't matter what anyone says.
- Going across dance floors can be tough. So dance your way through!
- To break the ice, get that special someone a beverage!
- Avoid mean teachers like Coach Dirga.
- Don't waste your whole time trying to dance with someone special, get out there and dance with your friends.
- Have fun.
- If you have no one to dance with, just dance with friends or dance all by yourself.
- If you are not going with someone, go as a group with your friends, so you don't ruin your whole night.
- Don't eat food. If you do, then you could vomit or need to go to the bathroom a lot and other kids will make fun of you.
- Dont stress, or you'll make a mess.
- You should not dress up in work clothes.
- If you are part of the rumor, IGNORE THEM!
- If you hear a rumor DON'T SPREAD IT!
- If you heard a rumor that you know is a lie don't worry about it another will come around
- Just because you hear it from a friend or another student does not make it true!
- If a rumor about someone comes to you, think to yourself....SO WHAT!
- Most of the time a rumor is, when someone hears a part of a sentence so don't listen to them.
- If you hear a rumor don't ignore it confront the person who is lying and tell them that he or she is a very nice person and a fun person and they shouldn't be lying about them and tell the person who is spreading the rumors how she or he would feel if someone made a rumor about them.
- Don't start a rumor about the person you hate.
- If someone started one about you, do nothing! If you want to really fix it go to someone 18 or older for help
- No matter who it is sick, don't be happy if someone is sick.
- If you are sick don't wait, go to the nurses office immediately.
- If a teacher is away sick get used to a new substitute teacher
- If you are sick, text or call friends to get missing assignments and homework.
- If you're home sick, email the teacher to find out what you missed
- If your teacher is sick and you get a sub teacher, don't do whatever you want, the sub will tell your real teacher what you did.
- Practice, practice, practice.
- Prepare for distractions.
- Do not be nervous.
- Do not be sad if you did not make it because at least you tried.
- To avoid choking, imagine people in their underwear .
- Don't go to the spelling bees if you are not good at spelling.
- If it's timed, do not say "ummmmm...…
- Don't force a smile, have a smile that you do every year.
- Practice a smile.
- If you don't like your picture then see if your school has a make-up picture day.
- Don't blink.
- Be yourself.
- Bring an extra outfit in case something happens to the first outfit
- Bring a hair brush to fix your hair before the picture
- Make sure you clear your nose before the picture.
- If you force to smile or say cheese that isnt your real smile picture something funny in your head and your real natural smile will come out.
- Don't open your mouth when you think of something funny because you don't want to look like your sneezing.
- Treasurer: Good for beginners.
- Vice President: Informs the students.
- Best and hardest is Class President.
- Go big with posters.
- Hand out fliers.
- Keep it short and simple for speeches.
- Try to be yourself
- For speeches don't sweat it, it's not like your giving the speech to become the president of the U.S.A.
- If your shy when giving speeches, picture everyone in their underwear.
- Practice saying your speech to avoid pausing, saying "umm", and stopping between words.
- Don’t like something? Don’t complain, change it.
- Everybody has a talent.
- Express yourself and have fun.
- Find your talent and go for it.
- If you don't want to perform your talent, don't force yourself; just watch from the audience and have a good time.
- And don't make fun of other kids' talents. Who knows? You could be next.
- If you want to perform in a talent show, but are too nervous, get a friend to do something with you.
- Use computer lab time wisely.
- Sign up early.
- Don't try to fix the computer by yourself, Ask your teacher for help.
- Pack tissues,sharpened pencils, etc.
- Put your name on everything
- Empty your bag before throwing it out
- Make sure your bag is zipped
- Clean out your backpack every week
- put what you really need in it
- Friends look out for each other.
- Talk about problems with your friends.
- Everyone needs a best friend.
- Never talk behind their back.
- If a friend is there for you, be there for them
- Make sure they know what your good at vice versa when it involves school help each other out
- Don't be too obvious.
- Avoid the Out-the-Window dream.
- Daydream at an educational classroom item.
- Daydreaming actually helps you come up with solutions.
- Avoid drooling.
- If you're day dreaming look in front of the class, don't stare into space.
- Wear something light to stay cool.
- Wash your gym clothes once a week.
- Take a sink shower if the showers freak you out (if you have showers).
- It would help if you had a brush, deodorant, and any other things to help you look like when you came in.
- Be a good sport nobody likes bad loosers only good sports are winners.
- Make a study sheet. (Not really a cheater tip)
- Make study tricks. (Not really a cheater tip)
- Talk to your teachers about rescheduling.
- Cheaters never win, winners never cheat.
- Use the book barrier to keep cheaters from cheating
- If there's a cheater near you, ask to move
- If you positively need to tell a teacher, tell them anonymously to avoid being called a snitch.
- Never fight or use explicit language towards your cheater, just talk to them.
- Do not get tricked by a cheater.
- Teachers are a bully - free zone.
- If you know their schedule, you can avoid them
- Find out about peer mediation.
- Tell a parent, teacher, or a counselor.
- get a bully box so if you see bullying write on a piece of paper and put it in the bully box
- Chill out, don't panic.
- Have an emergency plan with your friends.
- don't get in trouble with the teacher's they'll just yell to you until everybody will be talking under her.
The New Grade
- Make “New Grade Resolutions”.
- New grades are better with new friends.
- Don’t worry if the first day isn’t perfect.
- Stick with Resolutions.
- Don’t judge a teacher by their first day.
- Stay elusive, stay in the game.
- Feed balls to best throwers.
- Use the lob and drill attack.
- If you want to avoid getting hit, stay near the coach. They will try to throw the ball at you less.
- Keep your knees bent to increase your reflexes.
- Have the faster runners to get the balls.
- Keep a schedule, if you have to read a novel, calculate how many pages per day you have to read. 8-10 pages a day sounds alot less scary than a 220 page novel.
- Online quick notes help you keep on track. Note: It is not a replacement for actual reading.
- Start a book club.
- Actually read the book.
- Imagine it in your mind what it would be like in real life.
- See the principal for problems.
- Get to know the principal.
- Always go to the principal if you're being bullied.
- Principals always believe the truth so always tell the truth, they might reduce the puishment if you just tell the truth.
- Don't be afraid of the principal.
- If you’re not popular in the top ten, you're popular in your top ten.
- Don't try to be popular. It’s not worth the hassle.
- It's silly to look up to popular kids cause they're just like us.
- If you don't think you're popular you probably are. You are popular if most people in the school like you or know you.
- Be popular if you are in top ten.
- If you are not popular, don't try to be popular because it's hard to keep it up.
- It doesn't matter if you are not popular, you can still hang out with friends.
- Too much stress isn’t healthy so avoid too much stress.
- Don't let stress vision get the best of you cause things aren’t that bad.
- Over-scheduled? Schedule some goof off time.
- Grades are important but not the most important thing in life.
- Make a pit stop before the big ride home.
- Use dismissal as de-stress and wind down time.
- Have a dismissal check - list.
- Actors (Take center stage).
- Like Acting? The play is where to start.
- Don’t act? Work behind the scenes:
- Lighting and effects (make it look and sound alive).
- Wardrobe/costume (To wear? or not to wear?).
- Stage Manager (makes everything go smoothly).
- Stage Hands (put everything in the right place).
- Ask or audition to work lights or background announcer.
.Get in a group and come up with ideas of what you should be or do.
- Wear smocks and hats or wear your art.
- Not a painter? Ask about photography projects.
- Make art class, homemade gift time.
- Arts not an easy A+ you have to work at it .
- Just express yourself!
Lost & Found
- Chain it and don't lose it.
- Put your name on everything
- (May have been a joke, but still good advice:) Don't put your name on your underwear. If you lose those, you don't want anybody to know.
- Don't take anybody elses things from lost & found, because sooner or later they will find out.
- Keep extra notebooks, pencils, etc.
- Ask your teacher if you can record the lectures, so if you miss something, you can just rewind.
- Always keep extra clothes in your locker in case of accidental wetting.
- Be careful what you eat.
- Know what to say before you say it.
- Don't overeat those "Fart Starters" (like Eggplant, broccoli, and beans).
- Always check teeth after lunch.
- Always check your zipper!
- If someone laughs at you just laugh and say oops.
- Dont care what other people say
- Dont embarass yourself!
- Use bus time for homework time.
- Look before you sleep.
- Use the shift to protect your seat.
- Use the "seat hop" to move around the bus.
Bad Hair Days
- For guys, hats hide grease, grime, and fleas.
- For girls, scrunchies and clips can tame the wildest mane.
- And nothing cures a bad hair day like a good haircut.
- Don't do it. It's an endless line where nobody wins.
- If you feel like getting revenge on someone, talk to a counselor
- If you DO get REVENGE on SOMEONE make sure it doesn't get out of hand.
- Your permanent record follows you to high school, so don't do bad things.
- If you do good things, good things could happen in return.
- Don't wait to get to the library.
- Can't find a book? Find out who has it.
- The library isn't just for checking out books You can also make friends in the library.
- Get your friends to pitch in, it'll be fun.
- A few hours can make a huge difference.
- Never judge that you won't have fun. Just try it and maybe you'll have a great time
- Mostly volunteering can earn rewards,days out of school, cut classes or special treatment
- Beware of "The Reverse Commute".
- Find alternate routes if you have a reverse commute.
- You can talk to friends (or that special someone), but make it snappy.
- Never get caught running or without a pass
- Stay away from bullies.
- Get a map of the school to chart the quickest path for different classes or occasions.
- Have a far away friend? Make phone dating.
- IM'ing and web cams keep far away friends close.
- make sure you have their phone number
- Never tell a girl nasty things or she will get revenge
- Take a class/clubs boys like.
- Stuck? Take a ride or take a walk.
- Never be bummed, go with a day with the boys.
- If you really like someone ask them out.
- Stay away from girls with weird habits.
- NEVER ask a girl out just because she's "hot". Try to get to know her and like her for her. Your relationship will last longer. DON'T RUSH IT!
- Always try to show effort in gym class. Girls love a challenge.
- Get involved in activities that girls like.
- Never do stuff she thinks that's gross or you will regret it.
- When around girls: listen more, talk less.
- Be honest and be yourself around girls.
- Girls: They wear shoes and smell nice.
- For boys and girls. If you are nervous, just take a deep breath and be yourself.
- Wear deodorant.
- Don't show off. It just backfires.
- If you like a girl just ask them out or take your time by becoming friends.
- Compliment them.
- Don't act like a jerk around girls just to make you look cool. It makes you look like a fool, and girls won't like you for that. In fact, they will probably try to avoid you. Be honest with your feelings, and if you like a girl, just come right out and say it, they will appreciate you being honest with them, and that will raise your chance of getting a girlfriend.
- Don't make a call while doing something else or talking to someone else. its rude.
- If your on a date, dont text anyone. that is just messed up and your date will think something is up.
- Recharge your battery every other night. because if you charge it everynight, it wont be able to last all day in the future. and you don't want your phone to run out during an emergency.
- Turn off your phone when you get to school you don't want people to call you in class.
- When you talk and walk at the same time, make sure you look forward.
- Only text when you are NOT in class. Otherwise teachers will keep your phone for the rest of the week.
- Get rid of clutter in your backpack and locker once a week.
- If you go calendar, make sure to mark down the days that a quiz, test, and special events are coming up in your locker or backpack.
- Always have pencils handy.
- Accordion folders rock!
- Make a planner and see if you need to do something for school or get something done.
- If you get pretty low grades, make a extra credit report to move up in class.
- Don't make too many extra credit reports at one time! You'll get mixed up!
- Don't forget to spend as much time on the written part!
- Use inexpensive and used prizes for games.
- If it's "fun", people will pay to play.
- Volunteer to paint boards for new games.
- Try having a car wash or throw sponges at teachers
- Don't be boring. Make fundraising fun - raising.
- Competition can be a motive.
- Don't enter a competition if you’re not ready.
- Don't let competitions take over your life. It's how you play the game.
Making New Friends
- Don't judge someone because of their clothes or face.
- Ask people to join your table and make friends.
- Be nice and be yourself
Positives & Negatives
- Being Positive is contagious.
- Unfortunately, so is being negative.
- If you have 2 negative people in school, get them together to turn them on the positive side.
- Need cash fast? Try babysitting, pet care and cleaning services.
- Know what and when you’re getting paid.
- Ask your boss when your getting paid.
- Remember, there is no such thing as "Easy Money". If you want money, you got to work hard at it!
- Always take emergency money in case you forget lunch or if you need a notebook, go to a local school store and buy one with the money.
- Sell something that you don't want and somebody does. Easy.
- Dress nicely, but be yourself.
- Keep your breath fresh, avoid stinky foods.
- And have fun at parties.
- More than a class, health is a lifesaver so pay attention.
- Take care of mood swings by eating breakfast.
- Take care of an embarrassing itch by taking shower regularly.
- When someone is choking, press your fist below the person's ribs then cover it with your other hand then thrust upwards until it's dislodged.
- DON'T Worry! Just look around your class, and remember... this will eventually happen to all of your classmmates!
- Be confident, be grateful, not jealous.
- Control jealousy; don’t let it control you.
- Don't be to jealous with someone else.
- Don't be jealous that the boy you like is going out with one of your freinds.
- If your in a choice between your crush and one of your freinds, do't pick your crush[jealousy make you do crazy things control it]
- Face the facts for multiple choice.
- Never second guess. Your first answer is probably right.
- Study hard to do good
- Go with a study group before the test starts.
- Take a week to be a geek.
- Study every night when you go to sleep.
- Ask a teacher if you don't get something.
- Always have flash cards handy so you can make any time, a study time.
- Make a study list
When You Like Someone Who is Going Out With Someone Else
- Be Vice boyfriend or girlfriend.
- Be nice and make yourself a potential date.
- Don’t come down too strong.
- Never act goofy or bad things can happen.
- Remember that relationships RARELY last forever.
- Try not to get jealous and remember that they will eventually break up.
- Don't be a goof.
- Try to act nice around he/she's boyfriend or girlfriend. As soon as they're available ask them out ASAP.
The New Semester
- Make a new semester to-do list.
- Get started doing things on your list ASAP (as soon as possible).
- Make sure that you know where all your classes are.
- Try to do better than your last semester.
- Try to maybe get on honor roll this time.
- Try to make new friends.
- If there are any new people (teachers, principles, students... ); try and help them feel home by being nice to them
- If you're good at it, take it.
- Don't let teasing stop you, because someday the teasing will stop.
- Do great with a great teacher
- Don't sign up for something you're not good at, even if you're friends are taking that class.
- Brainstorming creates great ideas and speeches.
- Plan fun teacher/student challenges.
- Hand out awards.
- Bring money for snacks.
- Check school lunches that are posted on school bulletin boards and online.
- If you don't like your lunch, trade it.
- Get in line early and buy for friends.
- No food or money? Make an instant pot-luck with friends.
- Remember to not eat like a pig.
- Don't eat any stinky foods or foods that make you have gas.
- Don't use your shirt as a napkin.
- Take easy and neat notes
- Copy your notes in a second notebook to lock the information in your head.
- If you are out sick, have a responsible person take good notes for you.
- If a teacher says something twice, underline it because it will show up on a test.
- Keep it short, time is limited.
- Get a jump on the project and start early.
- Quickly erase any embarrassing shots.
- Always click protector tabs on your tapes.
- You can't ignore math, it is everywhere.
- When you come across something difficult, be positive, and believe in yourself.
- Ask questions right away, don't wait!
- Study group + friends = No Math anxiety.
- Without math we are cavemen eating mud.
- you may not enjoy it but you just need to look at it in a different way it may even help you.
- Tell the truth, no matter how much it hurts.
- Vice Principals never believe liars, even if they are telling the truth for once.
- Wear your all time favorite outfit on Mondays.
- Make Mondays "Favorite Lunch Days".
- Make Monday fun - day.
- Watch your favorite movies
- Organize a favorite game with friends
- Don't freak out, your body will change.
- Stay active and stay healthy.
- Dont worry about what people say.
- Ask your teacher for help.
- List your tasks in order of importance.
- Don’t do nothing, keep working hard.
Gross Biology Dissection
- If you don't want to do dissection to a live/dead animal, ask your teacher if you could do virtual dissection. It's not messy or gross.
- A note from a parent can get you out of anything.
- Don't make fun of squeamish kids, you could be next.
Upper Class Men
- Don't get in the way of 8th graders
- Walk with your friends in dangerous zones.
- Beware of Upper Class Men traditions.
- If you say no to a dare you're not being a chicken, you're being smart.
- Dangerous dares are not worth it.
- Admit you have a bad habit and get psyched to beat it.
- Replace bad habits with healthier habits.
- Take small steps to beat your bad habit.
- Think about life without your bad habit.
- The normal teacher will return.
- Short term teachers can make your head spin
- Get to know the substitute you might like them
- Be nice they could send a good report to your teacher
- Just because your regular teacher isn't there, doesn't mean you can behave badly. Because chances are, they'll find out and it won't be pretty
The New Kid
- Invite the new kid to lunch.
- Introduce yourself.
- Be yourself, you'll make friends.
- And if you are making new friends with a new kid be good to them and introduce them with your friends.
- Don't judge by the way they look or come from, get to know them first
- Avoid giving mushy-lovey cards.
- Funny cards = less pressure.
- Get in on the fun with an anonymous card.
- If you have a crush get her/him something
- Don't say anything that makes someone else feel bad
- Use cool web design software for a cool website.
- Set up a live web-cam in your school.
- Volunteer to keep the website updated.
- Change your look - change your self image.
- Develop your social skills.
- Scare your shyness by facing it.
- Try to talk to more people, and introduce yourself to new friends.
- Think about it, find a reason why you need to be shy, then you might realize you dont need to be, or you can find a solution for your shyness!
- If you're stuck with a super bad nickname, tell the Vice Principal.
- If you don't like your nickname, you could try talking to your friends about it and give them suggestions for another one.
- Do something funny or something for charity, they then will call you a nickname that you are fine about.
- Don't let a nickname bother you.
Asking Someone Out
- Avoid freezing and practice how to ask.
- Good places to ask out - Cafeteria, Hallway, Outside by flowers
- Bad places to ask - Gym Class
- Can't ask someone out if they’re going out with someone else.
- Get an "Ambassador" to screen your potential date.
- Not everyone says yes so be ready.
- They are more likely to say yes if you ask them directly.
- When asking someone out, just be yourself.
- Reuse recyclables and create things or art.
- The back of almost anything can be used for memos.
- Start your own recycling program at school.
- Use reusable totes for lunch instead of paper bags .
April Fool's Day
- Keep reminding yourself it's April Fool's Day so you can be ready for the tricks somebody's gonna pull on you.
- If there is a unusual atmosphere, it's a prank.
- Keep your pranks nice and playful.
- Don't do pranks on the same person because they'll know if it's a prank.
- Keep your excuses realistic, and not something like the dog ate my homework.
- Don't lie about forgetting something, your teacher most times will understand or give you more time.
- Don't tell secrets. You could hurt someone.
- If a secret hurts a friend, say sorry.
- Sometimes revealing a secret will make you feel better.
- Don't tell a secret to someone you know will break.
- It's always best not to tell someone a secret.
School Car Wash
- Bring extra clothes.
- Keep your schedule flexible for weather.
- Advertise near traffic.
- A wet car is not always a clean car.
- Do better at washing someones car they might really appreciated.
- You don’t have to go crazy to show our school spirit.
- Don't get upset if you're not Spirit King or Queen.
- All that matters is to have FUN!
- Don't forget your spirit, improvise!
- Some clothes never go out of style: jeans, button shirts, t-shirts and hi-tops(Converse).
- Clothes seem to affect who you are.
- Beware of ones that do go out of style.
- If certain clothes look cool or fashionable but aren't comfortable, don't wear them.
- Remember that clothes were made to keep you warm, so you don't need to make such a big deal out of them.
- Submit your own fun photos.
- Hurry and get your money in early.
- Try not to put mean things and comments in your yearbook.
- Subscribe to magazines and internet sites.
- Try different jobs.
- Remember that these are just proposals. You can be whatever you wanna be in your life.
- Practice and master the BASICS.
- Open yourself up to other types of music, such as classical.
- If you don’t find the right instrument at first, it's okay, everyone has their instrument.
- Clown around the Cafeteria - Good.
- Clown around Vice Principal - Bad.
- Beware of sitting next to the Class Clown.
- Class clowns can get you into trouble.
- Take some advantage of class clowns and try to finish work early while the teacher is scolding them.
- If you fail, don't overreact.
- If you’re failing, try something new.
- Talk to your Guidance Counselor for advice on how to pass.
- Ask the teacher if you can do more in the class to pass the class. This tip always works so don't be shy.
- Ask your teacher about tutor options.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for a new tutor.
- Beware of tutors who do the work for you.
- Don't beat yourself up. If you have a tutor, it doesn't mean you're dumb.
Study Hall/Free time
- Connect with a friend quietly in Study Hall.
- Tell a friend you'll talk later or move.
- Bored in Study Hall? Get your game on.
- If it's loud, use headphones.
- Use the book barrier.
- If you need to study ask to go to the library.
- Double Dating = Less Pressure.
- Avoid awkward silences with double dating.
- The best small talk - teachers and the lots of heavy textbooks do this to break the ice and it's so true.
- If you have a double date, be sure to tell the person you said yes to first thought you are having a double date.
The Last Day
- Clean out your locker or it will get donated.
- Get your projects or you'll never see them again.
- It's the last day to get your yearbook signed.
- Say goodbye to all your friends and ask for summer reading list because its for a grade.
- Always say bye to your teacher or he/she will ignore you the next year.