This is a list of tips shared during the episodes of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, arranged by subject.
The First Day
- During the first day: just relax, be yourself and don't panic! Try to make new friends and get to know your teachers for the year.
- Plan ahead on classes to get in the same ones as your friends.
- September = Summer, so don't wear winter clothes.
- Some classes get full, so pick a different class you're good at.
- Have a seat by the door to avoid the "door jam".
- Be on your BEST behavior.
- Set goals for yourself during the school year.
- Try to study before class.
- If you're new, don't sweat it, talk to some people.
- Have fun, get to know your teachers better.
- Make sure you have all your school supplies.
- Pick out clothes that show who you are to make a first impression.
- Pay attention to the rules and then when you come home memorize them so you don't have to later on.
- Make sure you always brush your hair and teeth before you go. Also make sure you have all your clothes on.
- Get a haircut 2 weeks before school starts so it can grow in.
- Try to make new friends your age and grade.
- Make a list of H.W and say when its due so you wont forget, and to have a reminder
- Always listen to what the teacher is saying, NOT what the teacher is doing.
- Try to do as much homework as you can in class so that you don't have much to do at home.
- Helping the teacher out doesn't make you a teachers pet. You dont have to be a teachers pet to make a good impression.
- Don't be afraid to raise your hand. It doesn't mean you're dumb when you raise your hand you just get interested.
- Take notes when the teacher is talking.
- Always try to be the best student in your class.
- Never get on their bad side, It won't help.
- Due dates are closer than they appear, be sure to do your projects/homework ON TIME!
- Sit next to new people to make new friends.
- Avoid sitting next to the bullies or the class clown, since they will only distract you.
- Sitting in front helps you learn better so when you take a test you are ready.
- Sit near the door to get to your classes quicker.
- Stay away from really talkative people. You won't EVER be able to concentrate on ANYTHING!
- Sit around nice people just in case it is your seat forever.
- If you sit next to your friends you may be distracted. Friends tend to like to talk to you.
- Sitting in the front doesn't always mean that you will always get called on when the teacher asks a question.
- Stay away from the back rows!
- Try to avoid sitting next to the window, It may seem like a good idea, but in the summer the sun will cook you. In the cold it gets breezy.
- Get the right equipment.
- Don't give up, keep practicing, if you don't make the team. You can make it next year.
- Remember that practice makes perfect.
- Don't be afraid of trying out new things because you just might like it.
- Be prepared!
- If you don't make it, tryout for something else!
- Sometimes they're way out of your league, but try anyway, it's okay if they say no.
- Get to know them first then, ask them out
- Be yourself and go talk to him/her.
- If your crush doesn't like you remember you could still be friends.
- If you're going to talk to your crush, don't make up lies about yourself.
- Be sure that your crush likes you before you ask them out.
- It's okay for a girl to ask a boy out.
- be nice to them
- Practice what you are going to say to your crush before saying it
- Dress cool and comfortable and it doesn't matter what anyone says.
- Going across dance floors can be tough. So dance your way through!
- To break the ice, get that special someone a beverage!
- Don't waste your whole time trying to dance with someone special, get out there and dance with your friends.
- Have fun.
- If you have no one to dance with, just dance with friends or dance all by yourself.
- If you are not going with someone, go as a group with your friends, so you don't ruin your whole night.
- Don't eat a lot of food. If you do, then you could vomit or need to go to the bathroom.
- Don't stress, or you'll make a mess.
- You should not dress up in work clothes.
- If you are part of the rumor, IGNORE THEM!
- If you hear a rumor DON'T SPREAD IT!
- Just because you hear it from a friend or another student does not make it true!
- If a rumor about someone comes to you, think to yourself....SO WHAT!
- Most of the time a rumor is, when someone heard a sentence out of context.
- If you hear a rumor don't ignore it confront the person who is lying and tell them that he or she is a very nice person and a fun person and they shouldn't be lying about them and tell the person who is spreading the rumors how she or he would feel if someone made a rumor about them.
- Don't start a rumor about the person you hate.
- If someone started one about you, go to a teacher, or a trusted adult.
- If you are sick don't wait, go to the nurses office immediately.
- If a teacher is away sick get used to a new substitute teacher
- If you are sick, text or call friends to get missing assignments and homework.
- If you're home sick, email the teacher to find out what you missed
- If your teacher is sick and you get a sub teacher, don't do whatever you want, the sub will tell your real teacher what you did.
- Practice, practice, practice.
- Prepare for distractions.
- Do not be nervous.
- Do not be sad if you did not make it because at least you tried.
- To avoid choking, imagine people in their underwear .
- Don't go to the spelling bees if you are not good at spelling.
- If it's timed, do not say "ummmmm...…
- Don't force a smile, have a smile that you do every year.
- Practice a smile.
- If you don't like your picture then see if your school has a make-up picture day.
- Don't blink.
- Be yourself.
- Bring an extra outfit in case something happens to the first outfit
- Bring a hair brush to fix your hair before the picture
- Make sure you clear your nose before the picture.
- If you force to smile or say cheese that isnt your real smile picture something funny in your head and your real natural smile will come out.
- Don't open your mouth when you think of something funny because you don't want to look like your sneezing.
- Treasurer: Good for beginners.
- Vice President: Informs the students.
- Best and hardest is Class President.
- Go big with posters.
- Hand out fliers.
- Keep it short and simple for speeches.
- Try to be yourself
- For speeches don't sweat it, it's not like your giving the speech to become the president of the U.S.A.
- If your shy when giving speeches, picture everyone in their underwear.
- Practice saying your speech to avoid pausing, saying "umm", and stopping between words.
- Don’t like something? Don’t complain, change it.
- Everybody has a talent.
- Express yourself and have fun.
- Find your talent and go for it.
- If you don't want to perform your talent, don't force yourself; just watch from the audience and have a good time.
- And don't make fun of other kids' talents. Who knows? You could be next.
- If you want to perform in a talent show, but are too nervous, get a friend to do something with you.
- Use computer lab time wisely.
- Sign up early.
- Don't try to fix the computer by yourself, Ask your teacher for help.
- Pack tissues,sharpened pencils, etc.
- Put your name on everything
- Empty your bag before throwing it out
- Make sure your bag is zipped
- Clean out your backpack every week
- put what you really need in it
- Friends look out for each other.
- Talk about problems with your friends.
- Everyone needs a best friend.
- Never talk behind their back.
- If a friend is there for you, be there for them
- Make sure they know what your good at vice versa when it involves school help each other out
- Don't be too obvious.
- Avoid the Out-the-Window dream.
- Daydream at an educational classroom item.
- Daydreaming actually helps you come up with solutions.
- Avoid drooling.
- If you're day dreaming look in front of the class, don't stare into space.
- It's best to not daydream in class, as you could miss important things. Try your hardest not to.
- Wear something light to stay cool.
- Wash your gym clothes twice a week.
- Take a sink shower if the showers freak you out (if you have showers).
- It would help if you had a brush, deodorant, and any other things to help you look like when you came in.
- Be a good sport nobody likes a sore looser only good sports are winners.
- Bring wipes to wipe down your body if you aren't comfortable with sink showers or regular showers.
- Cheaters never win, winners never cheat.
- Use the book barrier to keep cheaters from cheating
- If there's a cheater near you, ask to move
- If you positively need to tell a teacher, tell them anonymously to avoid being called a snitch
- Do not get tricked by a cheater.
- Teachers are a bully - free zone.
- If you know their schedule, you can avoid them
- Find out about peer mediation.
- Tell a parent, teacher, or a counselor.
- get a bully box so if you see bullying write on a piece of paper and put it in the bully box
- Chill out, don't panic.
- Always listen, you never know when it might be handy.
The New Grade
- Make “New Grade Resolutions”.
- New grades are better with new friends.
- Don’t worry if the first day isn't perfect.
- Stick with Resolutions.
- Don’t judge a teacher by their first day.
- Stay elusive, stay in the game.
- Feed balls to best throwers.
- Use the lob and drill attack.
- If you want to avoid getting hit, stay near the coach. They will try to throw the ball at you less.
- Keep your knees bent to increase your reflexes.
- Have the faster runners to get the balls.
- Keep a schedule, if you have to read a novel, calculate how many pages per day you have to read. 8-10 pages a day sounds alot less scary than a 220 page novel.
- Online quick notes help you keep on track. Note: It is not a replacement for actual reading.
- Start a book club.
- Actually read the book.
- Imagine it in your mind what it would be like in real life.
- See the principal for problems.
- Get to know the principal.
- Always go to the principal if you're being bullied.
- Principals always believe the truth so always tell the truth, they might reduce the punishment if you just tell the truth.
- Don't be afraid of the principal.
- If you’re not popular in the top ten, you're popular in your top ten.
- Don't try to be popular. It’s not worth the hassle.
- It's silly to look up to popular kids cause they're just like us.
- It doesn't matter if you are not popular, you can still hang out with friends.
- Too much stress isn't healthy so avoid too much stress.
- Don't let stress vision get the best of you because things may not be that bad.
- Over-scheduled? Schedule some goof off time.
- Grades are important but not the most important thing in life.
- Make a pit stop before the big ride home.
- Use dismissal as de-stress and wind down time.
- Have a dismissal check - list.
- Actors (Take center stage).
- Like Acting? The play is where to start.
- Don’t act? Work behind the scenes:
- Lighting and effects (make it look and sound alive).
- Wardrobe/costume (To wear? or not to wear?).
- Stage Manager (makes everything go smoothly).
- Stage Hands (put everything in the right place).
- Ask or audition to work lights or background announcer.
.Get in a group and come up with ideas of what you should be or do.
- Wear smocks and hats or wear your art.
- Not a painter? Ask about photography projects.
- Make art class, homemade gift time.
- Just express yourself!
Lost & Found
- Chain it and don't lose it.
- Put your name on everything
- (May have been a joke, but still good advice:) Don't put your name on your underwear. If you lose those, you don't want anybody to know.
- Don't take anybody else things from lost & found.
- Always keep extra clothes in your locker in case of accidental wetting.
- Be careful what you eat.
- Know what to say before you say it.
- Don't over eat those "Fart Starters" (like Eggplant, broccoli, and beans).
- Always check teeth after lunch.
- Always check your zipper!
- If someone laughs at you just laugh and say oops.
- Don't care what other people say.
- Use bus time for homework time.
- Look before you sleep.
- Use the shift to protect your seat.
- Use the "seat hop" to move around the bus.
Bad Hair Days
- For guys, hats hide grease, grime, and fleas.
- For girls, scrunchies and clips can tame the wildest mane.
- And nothing cures a bad hair day like a good haircut.
- Don't do it. It's an endless line where nobody wins.
- If you feel like getting revenge on someone, talk to a counselor
- Your permanent record follows you to high school, so don't do bad things.
- If you do good things, good things could happen in return.
- Don't wait to get to the library.
- Can't find a book? Find out who has it.
- The library isn't just for checking out books You can also make friends in the library.
- Get your friends to pitch in, it'll be fun.
- A few hours can make a huge difference.
- Never judge that you won't have fun. Just try it and maybe you'll have a great time
- Beware of "The Reverse Commute".
- Find alternate routes if you have a reverse commute.
- You can talk to friends (or that special someone), but make it snappy.
- Never get caught running or without a pass
- Stay away from bullies.
- Get a map of the school to chart the quickest path for different classes or occasions.
- Have a far away friend? Make phone dating.
- IM'ing and web cams keep far away friends close.
- make sure you have their phone number
- Never be bummed, go with a day with the boys.
- If you really like someone ask them out..
- NEVER ask a girl out just because she's "hot". Try to get to know her and like her for her. Your relationship will last longer. DON'T RUSH IT!
- Be honest and be yourself around girls.
- For boys and girls. If you are nervous, just take a deep breath and be yourself.
- Wear deodorant.
- Don't show off. It just backfires.
- If you like a girl just ask them out or take your time by becoming friends.
- Compliment them.
- Don't act like a jerk around girls just to make you look cool. It makes you look like a fool, and girls won't like you for that. In fact, they will probably try to avoid you. Be honest with your feelings, and if you like a girl, just come right out and say it, they will appreciate you being honest with them, and that will raise your chance of getting a girlfriend.
- Don't make a call while doing something else or talking to someone else. its rude.
- If you're on a date, dont text anyone.
- Recharge your battery every night.
- Turn off your phone when you get to school; you don't want people to call you in class.
- When you talk and walk at the same time, make sure you look forward.
- Only text when you are NOT in class.
- Get rid of clutter in your backpack and locker once a week.
- If you go calendar, make sure to mark down the days that a quiz, test, and special events are coming up in your locker or backpack.
- Always have pencils handy.
- Accordion folders rock!
- Make a planner and see if you need to do something for school or get something done.
- If you get pretty low grades, make a extra credit report to move up in class.
- Don't make too many extra credit reports at one time! You'll get mixed up!
- Don't forget to spend as much time on the written part!
- Use inexpensive and used prizes for games.
- If it's "fun", people will pay to play.
- Volunteer to paint boards for new games.
- Try having a car wash
- Don't be boring. Make fundraising fun - raising.
- Competition can be a motive.
- Don't enter a competition if you’re not ready.
- Don't let competitions take over your life. It's how you play the game.
Making New Friends
- Don't judge someone because of their clothes or face.
- Ask people to join your table and make friends.
- Be nice and be yourself
Positives & Negatives
- Being Positive is contagious.
- Unfortunately, so is being negative.
- Try to be as positive as possible, it will put you, and people around you in a much better mood.
- Need cash fast? Try babysitting, pet care and cleaning services.
- Know what and when you’re getting paid.
- Remember, there is no such thing as "Easy Money". If you want money, you got to work hard at it!
- Always take emergency money in case you forget lunch or if you need a notebook, go to a local school store and buy one with the money.
- Sell something that you don't want and somebody does. Easy.
- Be smart with your money.
- Dress nicely, but be yourself.
- Keep your breath fresh, avoid stinky foods.
- And have fun at parties.
- More than a class, health is a lifesaver so pay attention.
- Take care of mood swings by eating breakfast.
- Take care of an embarrassing itch by taking shower regularly.
- DON'T Worry! Just look around your class, and remember... this will eventually happen to all of your classmmates!
- Be confident, be grateful, not jealous.
- Control jealousy; don’t let it control you.
- Don't be to jealous with someone else.
- Don't be jealous that the boy you like is going out with one of your friends
- Face the facts for multiple choice.
- Never second guess. Your first answer is probably right.
- Study hard to do good
- Go with a study group before the test starts.
- Take a week to be a geek.
- Study every night before you go to sleep.
- Ask a teacher if you don't get something.
- Always have flash cards handy so you can make any time, a study time.
- Make a study list
When You Like Someone Who is Going Out With Someone Else
- Be nice and make yourself a potential date.
- Don’t come down too strong.
- Remember that school relationships RARELY last forever.
- Try not to get jealous and remember that they might break up.
The New Semester
- Make a new semester to-do list.
- Get started doing things on your list ASAP (as soon as possible).
- Make sure that you know where all your classes are.
- Try to do better than your last semester.
- Try to maybe get on honor roll or principal's list this time.
- Try to make new friends.
- If there are any new people (teachers, principles, students... ); try and help them feel home by being nice to them
- If you're good at it, take it.
- Don't let teasing stop you.
- Do great with a great teacher
- Don't sign up for something you're not good at, even if you're friends are taking that class.
- Brainstorming creates great ideas and speeches.
- Plan fun teacher/student challenges.
- Hand out awards.
- Bring money for snacks.
- Check school lunches that are posted on school bulletin boards and online.
- If you don't like your lunch, trade it.
- Get in line early
- Don't eat any stinky foods or foods that make you have gas.
- Don't use your shirt as a napkin.
- Take easy and neat notes
- Copy your notes in a second notebook to lock the information in your head.
- If you are out sick, have a responsible person take good notes for you.
- If a teacher says something twice, underline it because it will show up on a test.
- Keep it short, time is limited.
- Get a jump on the project and start early.
- Quickly erase any embarrassing shots.
- Always click protector tabs on your tapes.
- You can't ignore math, it is everywhere.
- When you come across something difficult, be positive, and believe in yourself.
- Ask questions right away, don't wait!
- Study group + friends = No Math anxiety.
- Without math we are cavemen eating mud.
- you may not enjoy it but you just need to look at it in a different way it may even help you.
- Tell the truth, no matter how much it hurts.
- Vice Principals never believe liars, even if they are telling the truth for once.
- Wear your all time favorite outfit on Mondays.
- Make Mondays "Favorite Lunch Days".
- Make Monday fun - day.
- Watch your favorite movies
- Organize a favorite game with friends
- Don't freak out, your body will change.
- Stay active and stay healthy.
- Dont worry about what people say.
- Ask your teacher for help.
- List your tasks in order of importance.
- Don’t do nothing, keep working hard.
Gross Biology Dissection
- If you don't want to do dissection to a live/dead animal, ask your teacher if you could do virtual dissection. It's not messy or gross.
- A note from a parent can get you out of anything.
- Don't make fun of squeamish kids, you could be next.
Upper Class Men
- Don't get in the way of 8th graders
- Walk with your friends in dangerous zones.
- Beware of Upper Class Men traditions
- If you say no to a dare you're not being a chicken, you're being smart.
- Dangerous dares are not worth it.
- Admit you have a bad habit and get psyched to beat it.
- Replace bad habits with healthier habits.
- Take small steps to beat your bad habit.
- Think about life without your bad habit.
- The normal teacher will return.
- Get to know the substitute you might like them
- Be nice they could send a good report to your teacher
- Just because your regular teacher isn't there, doesn't mean you can behave badly. They are going to report all activity to the teacher.
The New Kid
- Invite the new kid to lunch.
- Introduce yourself.
- Be yourself, you'll make friends.
- And if you are making new friends with a new kid be good to them and introduce them with your friends.
- Don't judge by the way they look or come from, get to know them first
- Avoid giving mushy-lovey cards.
- Funny cards = less pressure.
- Get in on the fun with an anonymous card.
- If you have a crush get her/him something
- Don't say anything that makes someone else feel bad
- Use cool web design software for a cool website.
- Set up a live web-cam in your school.
- Volunteer to keep the website updated.
- Change your look - change your self image, but make sure you are still true to yourself.
- Develop your social skills.
- Scare your shyness by facing it.
- Try to talk to more people, and introduce yourself to new friends.
- If you don't like your nickname, you could try talking to your friends about it and give them suggestions for another one.
- Do something funny or something for charity, they then will call you a nickname that you are fine about.
- Don't let a nickname bother you.
Asking Someone Out
- Avoid freezing and practice how to ask.
- Good places to ask out - Cafeteria, Hallway, Outside by flowers
- Bad places to ask - Gym Class
- Can't ask someone out if they’re going out with someone else.
- Get an "Ambassador" to screen your potential date.
- Not everyone says yes so be ready.
- They are more likely to say yes if you ask them directly.
- When asking someone out, just be yourself.
- Reuse recyclables and create things or art.
- Start your own recycling program at school.
- Use reusable totes for lunch instead of paper bags .
April Fool's Day
- Keep reminding yourself it's April Fool's Day so you can be ready for the tricks somebody's gonna pull on you.
- If there is a unusual atmosphere, it's a prank.
- Keep your pranks nice and playful.
- Don't do pranks on the same person because they'll know if it's a prank.
- Keep your excuses realistic, and not something like the dog ate my homework.
- Don't lie about forgetting something, your teacher most times will understand or give you more time.
- Don't tell secrets. You could hurt someone.
- If a secret hurts a friend, say sorry.
- Sometimes revealing a secret will make you feel better.
- Don't tell a secret to someone you know will break.
- It's always best not to tell someone a secret.
School Car Wash
- Bring extra clothes.
- Keep your schedule flexible for weather.
- Advertise near traffic.
- A wet car is not always a clean car.
- Do better at washing someones car they might really appreciate it.
- You don’t have to go crazy to show school spirit.
- Don't get upset if you're not Spirit King or Queen.
- All that matters is to have FUN!
- Don't forget your spirit, improvise!
- Some clothes never go out of style: jeans, button shirts, t-shirts and hi-tops(Converse).
- Clothes seem to affect who you are.
- If certain clothes aren't comfortable, don't wear them..
- Submit your own fun photos.
- Hurry and get your money in early.
- Try not to put mean things and comments in your yearbook.
- Subscribe to magazines and internet sites.
- Try different jobs.
- Remember that these are just proposals. You can be whatever you wanna be in your life.
- Practice and master the BASICS.
- Open yourself up to other types of music, such as classical.
- If you don’t find the right instrument at first, it's okay, everyone has their instrument.
- Clown around the Cafeteria - Good.
- Clown around Vice Principal - Bad.
- Beware of sitting next to the Class Clown.
- Class clowns can get you into trouble.
- If you fail, don't overreact.
- If you’re failing, try something new.
- Talk to your Guidance Counselor for advice on how to pass.
- Ask the teacher if you can do more in the class to pass the class. This tip always works so don't be shy.
- Ask your teacher about tutor options.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for a new tutor.
- Beware of tutors who do the work for you.
- Don't beat yourself up. If you have a tutor, it doesn't mean you're dumb.
Study Hall/Free time
- Tell a friend you'll talk later or move.
- If it's loud, use headphones.
- Use the book barrier.
- If you need to study ask to go to the library.
- Double Dating = Less Pressure.
- Avoid awkward silences with double dating.
The Last Day
- Clean out your locker or it will get donated.
- Get your projects or you'll never see them again.
- It's the last day to get your yearbook signed.
- Say goodbye to all your friends and ask for summer reading list because its for a grade.